


It All Depends on What He Cooks Like

by panpipe



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-09
Updated: 2008-12-09
Packaged: 2017-10-13 04:12:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panpipe/pseuds/panpipe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Too bad Donghae can't cook.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It All Depends on What He Cooks Like

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://panpipe.livejournal.com/98782.html#cutid1).

Donghae once heard that food is the way to a man's heart.

Okay, everyone in existence has heard that saying but he thinks it's just a better, nicer way of starting things. I mean, seriously, who would want to read a story that starts out with, "There's this thing that everybody who is alive and breathing has heard of and it says something about the way to a man's heart being through his stomach." It's nowhere near as catchy, or as fluid, or as... succinct. Okay maybe Donghae is just prone to rambling, but whatever. Moving on.

It's because of this particular saying that Heechul finds Donghae in the kitchen one night, trying to bake what appears to be a cake--or is it a soufflé? Heechul opens his mouth to ask, when suddenly there is a loud BOOMing noise (most likely Kangin being thrown into the neighboring wall, which is shared with their practice room).

Donghae's soufflé deflates.

His eyes begin glistening with unshed tears.

Heechul makes an attempt to cover his laughter, but that doesn't last long. When Donghae turns his watery eyes toward him, it makes Heechul feel like he kicked a limping, miserable half-drowned puppy that had just been abandoned by his owner. He coughs and says, "I'm sure Siwon would help you if you asked."

That's when Donghae really does burst into tears.

 

After an hour of consoling Donghae, Heechul finally learns the real reason behind Donghae's attempt at mastering the culinary arts.

"Even a sloppy half-drunken make-out would be nice. I just want Siwon to notice me," Donghae sobs into Heechul's sleeve. (He'd better not get any snot on this shirt; it's _new_ , Heechul thinks angrily.)

 

Later, Donghae starts thinking, and realizes that in Mulan, the song said "it all depends on what she (he) _cooks_ like", not " _bakes_ like".

He still has a shot at this.

He decides that he'll switch to making a bento instead, because surely that isn't terribly hard. It seems like all that's necessary is arranging food in a creative yet still adorable manner. He also decides that the aforementioned bento will include a heart, somehow, to be a bit more obvious about his true intentions. And maybe something about a fish and a lion with the heart in between the two.

This all sounds well and good but really, Donghae can't cook to save his life. He even managed to burn the rice but he figures, well, something is better than nothing, so he adds a little food coloring to draw a heart on the rice, and then buys a Simba-shaped bento and puts a fish sticker on it.

He thinks it's about as subtle as a bag of bricks, but when he gives it to Siwon he merely laughs and says, "Is this some kind of joke? Are you trying to give me food poisoning before our next performance?"

Donghae laughs and says no, but when his smile quickly fades, Heechul decides it's time to take matters into his own hands. And by his own he means Hankyung's.

 

Heechul sends Hankyung to find Donghae the next time he suspects him to be in the kitchen making something new for Siwon.

Hankyung walks in on Donghae attempting cupcakes this time, which appears to be going (marginally) better than the cake and (infinitely) better than the bento.

Donghae turns, ready to angrily shoo Heechul away (he's been hovering around Donghae constantly ever since the soufflé incident), but when he sees that Hankyung is standing there instead, he smiles sweetly.

And if Hankyung isn't mistaken, his eyes even flutter a little.

Wait, are-- are his eyes _glittering_?

He gulps. These are all classic Hankyung-will-you-pleeeaaase-do-this-for-me symptoms.

"Hankyung-hyuuuung," Donghae whines. Hankyung takes a few steps backward. "I was just wondering if you could do me a huge favor and" -- Donghae's hands clasp together -- "help me make these cupcakes?"

 

What Hankyung realizes, thirty minutes later, is that his initial fears were correct. When Donghae says "help" he really only means "do everything for me and then let me take credit for all your hard work." Hankyung doesn't mind _that_ much, but he would have liked a little bit of a warning, like maybe being given a heads-up that morning, some way to prepare for an afternoon of baking someone else's love cupcakes. Donghae tries to help every once in a while, but every time he does something goes horrifically wrong and they lose a little bit more of what's left of the cupcake mix.

(Donghae is capable of at least wrapping them in pretty paper; he's not _completely_ helpless at this sort of thing--though Hankyung had seriously begun to suspect he was incompetent at everything but dancing and singing.)

 

Donghae is preparing to present Hankyung's cupcakes to Siwon--meticulously arranging them in a heart, making sure the pink and white icing is arranged in a logical manner--Siwon nervously knocks on Donghae's door.

Donghae quickly hides his masterpieces (well, alright, mostly Hankyung's masterpieces) under the covers before opening the door a crack. "Yes?" he asks.

Siwon shifts his feet nervously, though his face is full of the typical Siwon confidence. "I decided to show you what a bento should really look like," he says, pulling out a fish-shaped box. Inside is a lion holding a heart, made out of fruits and vegetables and rice. Somehow, he has managed to spell "Saranghae" with the apple slices.

Donghae's eyes sparkle and he can't stop the grin forming on his face. He asks Siwon if he'd like to come in.

Then he screams when Siwon sits on the bed. "MY CUPCAKES," he squeals, as Siwon begins apologizing profusely.

(He hears Hankyung's faint voice say, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE. THOSE WERE _MY_ CUPCAKES! FUCK YOU," but decides it would be safer to ignore him and wait for his anger to dissipate.

Besides, with Siwon near his bed, he's got him exactly where he wants him, and he's going to take full advantage of this opportunity.)


End file.
